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“Where is this secret meeting being held?” I whisper as we
hug the shadows, so none of the underclassmen will catch us.
Shannon is the trumpet section leader; I’m one of the drum
majors. That means we’re at the beck and call of any band member who needs
help, especially this week. If a nervous freshman spots us, we’re done for.
“In the instrument room,” she whispers back.
Right under my nose on hallowed ground. The nerve of Jimbo.
At least that helps us stay on the side of covert
surveillance. We sneak into the main band room without being seen since the
lights are on night mode then hightail it into the uniform room, which just so
happens to be separated from the instrument room by a weird window. It’s opaque
enough to keep our cover but mostly, it’s a useless decoration, so we can still
hear everything. With the lights off in here, it makes it even easier to see
the vague forms of several bodies in the other room.
Four large bodies in fact. One for every drum major except
“Shh,” Shannon hisses.
“You shush,” I whisper back.
We stop shoving each other for the best viewpoint when the
sound of Jimbo’s annoying voice carries through the window.
“There hasn’t been a woman drum major in the past one
hundred years. There’s not going to be one now.”
Nate’s voice pulls me out of my plans for homicide. “I
dunno, man. All she has to do is use the #MeToo movement to get the spot. One
word to the directors that she’s faced harassment just because she has a pussy,
and they’ll give it to her. You know they will.”
Eww! What the fuck? I always thought Nate was a decent guy,
but obviously not. Why the hell would I make a false claim? Why wouldn’t I want
to earn my spot, same as anyone else in the history of the band? Obviously, I’m
already facing harassment as the only female drum major, but that only makes me
want to crush them on my merits instead of on my breast size even more.
“And I’m telling you they won’t.” Jimbo’s voice sounds
relaxed on the surface, but there’s an underlying edge to it that makes me
think he’s gritting his teeth. He’s never had very much patience for people who
don’t bow down easily and accept him as their supreme overlord. “I have a
“Oh, you’ve got a plan?” Another of the guys, Tim, laughs.
“To put yourself in the head drum major spot. What the hell does that have to
do with any of us?”
“Nate isn’t wrong. Sophie has the best chance to get it out
of any of us.”
I clench my jaw. I hate it when Jimbo calls me Sophie.
“You just said there’s not going to be a female head drum
major this year,” Jake, a fellow trumpet, practically sneers. I like Jake. “So,
how do you figure she has the best chance?”
“Because she’s a woman,” Jimbo emphasizes like they’re all
clearly stupid for not following his invisible train of thought.
I think it’s Tim who throws his arms up in the air. It’s
definitely his voice. “That doesn’t make any sense!”
A body presumably belonging to the snake I hate the most
leans forward in a chair, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his
hands together. “The directors are putting it up to a vote this year, yes? And
what is the ratio of men to women in this marching band?”
Nate huffs out a breath of frustration. “It’s about
fifty-fifty. What’s your point?”
“My point is, it’s not an exact split,” Jimbo explains, his
tone quickly running out of patience. “There are a hundred ninety-eight women
and only a hundred twenty-nine men. Now, I don’t know about everyone’s
sexuality, but I’d rather stare at a sweet pair of tits on that main podium
than an accidental boner in wool pants.”
Shannon’s body tenses like she’s going to leap through the
window, so I wrap her in my arms to hold her still.
“Don’t. I need to hear this.”
“Get your phone out and record it,” she hisses. “Show it to
the directors. You’ll get the spot and be rid of him forever.”
True, but where’s the fun in that? It’ll hurt more if he
fails and has to watch my sweet tits up on that podium every game.
“I’ve never let him beat me before. I’m not about to start
“Ugh, fine,” Shannon whispers and goes limp.
“Which brings me back to my plan.” Jimbo grins with his
words. “If we take that fine rack and tight ass off the market, the guys’ votes
are suddenly more … changeable.”
“Only if you don’t care about the lesbians in band.” Jake
“I’m going to take care of their votes, too.” The silhouette
of Jimbo leans back in the chair, placing his hands behind his head in a
relaxed pose that indicates he thinks his plan is foolproof.
“Spit it out already!” Nate yells.
“I’m gonna make her fall in love with me.”
For a split second, everything goes deathly silent. Or maybe
that’s just because my heart stops beating.
A chorus of laughter defibrillates me back to life.
“I have never seen anyone hate someone as much as Sophia
hates you.” Nate cackles. It takes him a few tries to catch his breath.
“There’s no way, man. There’s just no way. It’s a great plan, but you need to
let one of us do the wooing. At least we’ll all have a shot at the votes that